Satisfaction

" Satisfaction is what we're all aiming at right? Our own satisfaction depends a lot , no ...scratch that...depends completely on our expectations of ourselves.It depends on what you set your sights on.It isn't absolute , it's relative. I've heard a saying " Aim for the stars, if you don't reach em' you'll reach the moon". BS. Total BS. Is this suppose to inspire people?? How can it?? If you reach for the stars and don't get em , how can you be satisfied with the moon? Wouldn't it have been better to be aiming for the moon in the first place?Atleast you can rest easy knowing you're where you set out to be. I envy the person who sets his sights on something and gets it.I do not like being the guy who sets his sights too high and lands up short, I'd rather be the guy who sets his sights 'short' and lands up there. I do not look down on the person who sets his sights lower than mine, I do however look up to those who set their sights higher.

Would I be satisfied working with Infosys ?? No I would not, I'm not going to be satisfied with my lot. But I do envy the guy who sets his sights on Infosys , gets it and then dances like a maniac.He's achieved what he set out to achieve. I know what I want right now....IIM. Am I going to get it?? Not likely. People tell me to take it easy, that I have a good job in hand , that I always have next year. I cannot understand how that works. I do not want the job, I do not want to wait till next year. In absolute terms , I am better of than the average joe but in relative terms , I failed to do what I set out to do.The frustration that comes with knowing that, no matter how well you seem to be doing is very very difficult to express. It's like a thorn in my side , I cannot ever truly ignore it. It seems to me as though virtually every en devour that I have set out on , I have come up short of my expectations.There was the whole IIT gamut , then the 3rd year project , the 4th year project...and the latest entrant ...IIM.

I've blown two interviews. I've got another to go that I am well short of prepared for...It's likely going to turn out to be another disappointment to join the ever growing list.Another thorn that will refuse to be ignored. It makes me wonder....Is it worth it?? Dreaming Big....oh sure , when you pull it off once in a while ,1 in 10 shots maybe, it's great, the satisfaction is immense ( Even then , I wonder why are we so happy?? Isn't this what you set out to do, so shouldn't it be par for the course that you achieved it?Or are you surprised that you did achieve it?) but the frustration that comes with the other 9 times is infuriating.Even knowing all this and feeling all this , I still aim high , but every time I do, every single time I ask myself ....Is it worth it??

I do not have an answer yet."

This is what I wrote on 20th March 2010 ,before the IIM C interview .Sad ,depressing , boring stuff......n then 10th April 2010 happened. 10 April 2010 5:35 p.m....Its pretty much etched in my memory. For the first time I've actually achieved SOMETHING . Regarding this blog , something made me not publish it....I'm glad I didn't , because just that stupid action of not publishing it meant that I had some little iota of belief left in me and maybe that's what got me over the line.

Oh and.....I have my answer :D

Welcome, Class of 2012! | Joka Times

Welcome, Class of 2012! | Joka Times

Pointless thoughts....

How the time for dreams of the future seems to slip past unnoticed, until in reviving them a man realizes, with a shock, that the privilege is no longer his to entertain, that it belongs to those younger faces he sees on all sides, laughing in the tavern and on the streets, running wild.

A breath of fresh air

Even as I write this, the markets are getting ready to open up trading again.For the first time in Indian history the Trading had to be stopped because the Stock Market had hit the upper Circuit breaker,or quite simply put the growth had crossed the acceptable levels for a single day-over 1300 pts.

Now most of this doesn't really mean a lot to me but I  can see where the market is getting it's optimism from.For the first time in a long time we have something close to a decisive mandate, the possibility of a government actually being able to govern rather than constantly having to please its 'allies'. What the Congress has done to deserve such trust , I do not presume to know, but they have been handed the responsibility and now there is the hope that they will at least have a decent shot at being able to shoulder it.

While I'm not particularly pro-Congress or pro-BJP or pro any party for that matter ,it's quite easy to see primary reason for the sweep in this election.It stems from the fact that the Congress has a very clean and able leadership (although in the lower echelons it suffers from the same ailments all political party's suffer from).Right from eggheads like P Chidambaram,Montek Singh Aluwalia to astute politicians like Pranab Mukherjee.But perhaps the principal reason is our PM.The  sincerity and honesty associated with Dr Manmohan Singh coupled with his clean, down to earth image is a far cry from the controversial background of his primary challenger L.K Advani.And the less said about people like Mayawati the better,they don't even exist on the same page.

Here I must admit that it makes me feel better somehow to have a man like Manmohan Sigh at the helm with a young albeit untested Rahul Gandhi waiting in the wings.It's a far more heartening turn of events rather that say L.K Advani-the man who single handedly brought religion into mainstream politics and whom I hold resposnible for the Babri Masjid Demolition-as PM and Naredra Modi-the man who did nothing while Gujrat burned for 3 days and 3 nights even added fuel to the fire and who even today swears by hardline Hindutva which I cannot stomach-waiting to take over.

Perhaps my optimism is misplaced and 5 yrs from now we'll know for sure.....but even then if I were given a chance to change this mandate, I wouldn't -I sincerely believe this is the best possible outcome this election could have thrown up and that we have a lot to look forward to in the coming 5 years.

The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are.

Saw it in a bar.Loved it.

Peter's Laws

(The Creed of the Sociopathic Obsessive Compulsive)

1.  If anything can go wrong, fix it! (To hell with Murphy!)

2.  When given a choice, take both.

3.  Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.

4.  Start at the top and work your way up.

5.  Do it by the book... but be the author.

6.  When forced to compromise, ask for more.

7.  If you can't beat them, join them, and then beat them.

8.  If it's worth doing, it's got to be done now!

9.  If you can't win, change the rules.

10. If you can't change the rules, then ignore them.

11. Perfection is not optional.

12. When faced without a challenge, make one.

13. "No" simply means begin again at one level higher.

14. Don't walk when you can run.

15. Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for           stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary.

16. When in doubt, THINK!

17. Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.

18. The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

19. The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live!

Growing up at the speed of light....

At some point of time all of us have wanted to be 'adults','grown up'.....the conditions and the time vary but the desire has always existed......maybe when you were 15 and your folks refused you a night out....maybe when you were 16 and yet being lectured on how much you need to study or you see your cousins partying all night and envy eats you up.....as I said it's different for all of us but the desire's been there, lurking at the back of our minds...a potential solution to all our problems real or imagined.

But then.... how do you decide at what point you pass from being a carefree guy to a responsible adult.Is there a point in your life that defines this transition- a decision you took ? A choice you made ?Your 18th b'day?Your 21st? 

 I recently heard a saying-"The problem with being an adult is that you're already 10 decisions into it before you realize where you are."

When you think about it-it's true.I mean sure I'm still in College ,I got my whole life laid out in front of me and in many ways I'm still ignorant of the true meaning of adulthood...But I've already made a series of decisions that will define the direction my life will take.Decisions that can't be undone and whose impact knowingly or unknowingly I'll feel 30 yrs from now.

Another year and I'm out of college.....is that when I'm officially an adult?or am I already one?

Asking for anyone else's opinion on the matter is pointless-your mom's always going to think of you as 12 yrs old,your dad probably feels you became an adult 5 yrs ago and your friends.....well they're more likely to  think of you as being at par with them what ever that may be.It's a decision I'll have to make on my own.....

And I must admit it's not something I'm comfortable with.Sure the inherent freedom that comes with it is great,as is the having control over your own life ...but then when i think about it , what was also great was when i was 15 and where the only concern in life is passing the next exam and trying to get the cutest girl in your class to say yes to you.

It's the decisions that weigh you down .